The Witch's Poem

Or, The True Story of Hansel and Gretel.




It was once upon a time, in a land magical,
When occured a tragedy - I'll tell you the tale,
Of sweet Baba Gruna and her house of candy,
And the two children who wrote her sad ending.

Gruna was a sweet witch who had no friends of her own,
For deep in a dark forest she had made her home.
She pondered her problem, and sat deep in thought,
'Til finally to her the perfect solution was brought.

“If the forest is offputting,” she cackled quite madly,
“I'll make my home offset that very nicely.
I'll make my walls of gingerbread, and windows of sugar,
A gummy sidewalk, a chocolate door, and yet more!

“The chimney is easy, I'll use my magic,
And even fudge won't be tragic.
A liquorice kitty will prowl by my door,
And catch the sugar mice that'll dine on the floor.


“For the floor will be marshmallow, and to complete the set,
Graham crackers will serve as shingles - yet!
What of the foundation?  Oh, only my favourite treat:
Some hard candy that won't break against teeth!”

So she planned it, and so she built it,
And for many a year, so she lived it.
People came from lands far and distant,
To observe this marvel, and its owner befriend.

But on the other side of the forest there lived a man,
And though it's rude to say it, he had awful children.
Hansel fought, and Gretel fought, and they tore up his house,
So everybody who saw it thought it unfit for a mouse.

When they finished their fighting, to dinner they sat,
And everything they could reach, they ate.
So he and his wife, with hearts sad and heavy,
Resolved to kick out these children so beastly.

Into the woods the father led his two children,
And on the trip knew he'd be glad to be rid of them.
So he abandoned them where they'd not find their way,
And left them forever, to celebrate that fine day.

But hungry they grew, and searched long and hard,
Until one of them came across Baba Gruna's yard.
Naughtily, they came, and soon filled their bellies -
And that day Baba lost her ceiling.

She came home, and found them in her bed,
Snoring loud enough to wake all the dead!
“This won't do,” she thought with a frown,
“I don't have a feast to sate all the dead around!”

So she woke the children, and asked them quite sweetly,
“Darling little children, why are you here... and so hungry?”
They screamed as they saw her, frighted by her wart,
And decided that this kind witch, they would thwart.

Hansel immediately set to making an exit;
By which I mean, he ate the door's chocolate.
Gretel, more cruel, thought to end the old woman
And fixed her dark eyes upon the oven.

She took a lollipop poker from its sconce,
And with it forced Gruna to wince.
The witch backed away, frighted and pale,
And tripped upon an old toffee pail.

Into the oven she went, and with a fwoosh!
Poor Baba Gruna was burnt to death - but with a curse,
For as she died, the house felt her hurts
And so the children met their just desserts.

The chimney did topple, limp as a noodle,
As shingles collapsed through a roof quite feeble.
The children tried to run, but the floor, once firm,
Was squishy marshmallow, and they could only squirm.

So the next morning, when Baba Gruna's friends came,
They saw only a ruin - the children's last crime.
And though the house - once so famous and grand -
Was reclaimed by the forest, one thing still remained:

The foundation, as hard to eat as the day it was laid!