A Hymn to Bacchus

I came up with this while working on the prayers and had to act on it.




O, gather up all ye boys and girls,
And give him all your praise!
Sing a hymn to him who pours
All the beer that comes your ways!
Sing a hymn to Bacchus, lord of drink and joy,
And keep a cool one handy, in case he passes by!

He brought to us all that we love, beer and wine and mead,
When we've got all that already, what more can we need!
Some say we need courage, but that's just what he provides,
And some say love, but all that does, is drive one to the barside!
Some say we need power, or land or wealth or food,
But all you need for happiness is Bacchus' pleasant good.
Everything you'll ever need is wrapped up in his beer hall,
So never fear when you're near some delightful alcohol!

So gather up all ye boys and girls,
And give him all your praise!
Sing a hymn to him who pours
All the beer that comes your ways!
Sing a hymn to Bacchus, lord of drink and joy,
And keep a cool one handy in case he passes by!

It's said he travels 'round the world, seeking wine and feast,
And if you saw him coming, you'd think he was a beast!
His followers running rampant, drunk with his blessings,
They love to have a good time, and they're open to anything!
Their sacred rites are celebrated like the most wild night's rave,
And there's only one difference - it's that the ravers will behave.
When they come upon you, they'll tear you right apart,
And when they cry their victory, you'll wish they hadn't stopped!

So gather up all ye boys and girls,
And give him all your praise!
Sing a hymn to him who pours
All the beer that comes your ways!
Sing a hymn to Bacchus, lord of drink and joy,
And keep a cool one handy, in case he passes by!

One day he met some pirates, who took him for a lord.
They said, “What a ransom we shall get - if he gets on board!
Let's not give him a choice, boys, get him while he sleeps
And we shall live like kings while he only weeps!”
They took him on their sheep, and when the god awoke,
He saw the pirates had dry casks, upon dust his throat would choke.
So he grew vines up on the ship, and when the pirates ran away,
He let them swim, and those who remained, they had a wild party!

So gather up all ye boys and girls,
And give him all your praise!
Sing a hymn to him who pours
All the beer that comes your ways!
Sing a hymn to Bacchus, lord of drink and joy,
And keep a cool one handy, in case he passes by!

He's driven teetotalers to drink, set prudes off their prunes,
And when you visit him for dinner, you won't wake again 'til noon!
When he throws a party, nobody remembers what goes on,
But all agree that might be best - they never wake at home!
I've drunk a beer with every line - I forget how this song goes,
Something something something, thingie something toes.
Oh, Bacchus is truly the best of gods, he gave us his holy beer -
And only when we wake tomorrow will we regret that it was here!

So gather up all ye boys and girls,
And give him all your praise!
Sing a hymn to him who pours
All the beer that comes your ways!
Sing a hymn to Bacchus, lord of drink and joy,
And keep a cool one handy, in case he passes by!